Hope
by Miss Shirley-Blythe
Summary: Gilber is engaged to Christine. But he cant forget Anne


*Now, my story is edit. My grammar mistakes are corrected with the wonderful help of my beta-reader Alex! Thank you so much! * Please review!!!  
  
Hope   
  
The rain beat incessantly against the small window and had for many hours. Although it was only 3 p.m. it was still dark in the room because of the cloudy sky.  
  
However the young man, sitting at a desk overflowing with papers, didn't notice this. An open book lay in front of him and for the last 15 minutes he had stared at the same page of it. A lock of his brown hair slid into his face and he energetically brushed it away as if trying to banish his stray thoughts.   
  
Again, he started to read: `Angina pectoris is seen as an early sign of cardiac infarction. Symptoms are sudden pains in the chest, which radiate into the left arm..`   
  
Sighing he leaned back in the chair. He couldn't concentrate on his work today. For four weeks he had had this problem. Exactly on that day, he had met Anne in Kingsport, when he was at the conference. He thought he had gotten over the pain, which she had caused last summer, when she refused his proposal. Now, he knew he had fooled himself. He loved her still as much as before, although he was engaged to Christine. He couldn't forget it. At their accidental meeting he had told Anne about his engagement and for a moment it seemed as if Anne was terrified. Could she maybe..?  
  
Again Gilbert shook his head. Maybe he had only fancied this all. But one thing wasn't fancy, and that was that he loved Anne. The more he thought about it, the more he was aware that his feelings would never change.  
  
He liked Christine, she was nice, pretty, clever, and her kisses were gentle. But she wasn't Anne. Often he had imagined, what it would be like, kiss Anne. Christine's kisses weren't comparable with even the idea . Nothing was comparable with Anne.  
  
He loved Anne's way of lifting up her chin when she was angry. He loved her voice, he loved her smile, and he loved her sparkling eyes. He loved to speak with her; he loved to observe her. He loved her so much that it almost hurt. How could he marry Christine? It wasn't fair to Christine, he knew he would never love her in the same way he loved Anne. There would be never anyone other than Anne for him.   
  
Peter Cherry flung open the door and interrupted Gilbert's thoughts: "Hey Blythe! You're studying again aren't you?" Peter called, tossing his bag onto the bed. His raincoat dropped and soaked the floor. For two years Peter and Gilbert had lived in the same room, in the small boarding-house. Peter was a cheerful young man, who didn't want to miss any part of life. Again and again he searched for fun. Peter didn't take his medical studies very seriously; he was content if he passed his final, good or not. Of course he teased Gilbert often, because he studied so much. Nevertheless the two get along with each other well.  
  
Peter stood in front of the mirror and combed his blond hair, which was tousled from the storm. Then he turned, grinning, to Gilbert.  
  
"Hey, Blythe tonight there's a party by the Pillar's. Will you come with me?"  
  
Peter thought parties were great. And all the girls were mad after the smiling handsome Peter.   
  
It took Gilbert some time to convince Peter that he didn't want to go to a party, now. He couldn't bear to see laughing and chattering people at the moment.  
  
Instead he lay on his bed and starred up the ceiling in the darkness. That night Gilbert had a dream of Anne. She stood in front of him, and wore a white dress. Her red hair fluttered in the wind. She looked up at him and her grey-green eyes sparkled. She smiled and stretched out her hand to him.  
  
When Gilbert awoke the next morning he made a decision.   
  
The next day Gilbert had a date with Christine. The rainy clouds had dispersed and the sun beamed down from the sky. The Stuart house seemed as cheerful as ever. But Gilbert felt bad, as he entered the bright hall, today. His stomach felt as it were in a knot. This feeling got stronger as the meeting with Christine drew nearer.  
  
"Gil, how nice to see you." Christine came into the hall smiling. Gilbert kissed her cheek hastily. The knot in his stomach tightened. How could he find the right words?  
  
"Shall we sit down in the winter garden?" Christine asked and linking her arm with his.  
  
"I would rather take a walk, where we can speak in private. It is important Christine."  
  
"Sure, let us walk to the garden." Still smiling she guided him to the back door.   
  
For a while they walked silently along the gravel walks. The Stuarts property had an enormous garden. Dr. Stuart employed two gardeners to look after all the flowers and plants. And they did their work well. It was the most beautiful garden in the district.  
  
"What's the matter?" Christine asked.  
  
Gilbert stopped under a big chestnut tree. His head was hammering and he searched after the right words to explain it.  
  
"Christine I ." Her dark eyes looked questioning up to him. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He simply must say it. He couldn't hurt her, but he must talk with her.  
  
"Christine I want to break off our engagement."  
  
Now, it was said. And as he looked now in her wide open eyes, he felt has he had guided her to an executioner.  
  
"What?" Her voice sounded odd and tears glittered in her eyes.  
  
"Christine please listen." He tried to take her hand. But Christine pulled it away. "Believe me; I don't want to hurt you. But it wouldn't be fair, if I were to marry you.. I mean.. I could never love you in the same way, as.." Suddenly he stopped. Maybe it would be better not to say it.  
  
But Christine finished his sentence.  
  
"Not as Anne Shirley, you mean don't you? I always knew. Since the day you told me that she had refused you. But I hoped your feelings would change some day. I." Tears rolled down her cheeks. She turned her back on him and buried the face between her hands.  
  
Gilbert felt miserable. "Christine, please try to understand." Carefully he touched her arm.  
  
With the back of her hand she wiped the tears suddenly away. Then she took a deep breath and turned to Gil.  
  
"It's all right, Gil. I'll be ok. You're an honest guy. You never hid your feelings. I knew that you loved Anne. But you will understand that I don't want speak about it now. I need time."  
  
Embarrassed Gilbert looked to his feet. There was nothing to say.  
  
"I guess I should give you this back." Hastily she tried to pull the ring off of her finger.  
  
"No, please keep it." Gilbert stopped her. There was an embarrassed silence between them.  
  
"Well, I think this is the end." Christine said, quickly she kissed his cheek before she went back to the house. Half way there she stopped and said: " One more thing, Gilbert! I hope Anne will some day notice, what a great man you are." Then she ran into the house.  
  
Gilbert stood in the sun and looked after her. As much as he felt miserable to have hurt Christine, he was relieved, too. The knot in his stomach started to relax.   
  
The beautiful landscape of Prince Edward Island moved along the window of the train. All the red paths, the easy hills, the fields, and woods, and in the background sometimes a glimpse of the sea were familiar. He knew everything here. And the feeling of being home wrapped Gilbert.  
  
The examinations were finished and now he could spend his summer holidays in Avonlea. His first year of medical study had been very successful and Gilbert was pleased. The break off of the engagement with Christine hadn't changed this. On the contrary, he had only one thing left to do, to banish his thoughts to Anne. He wondered if she would spend this summer in Avonlea.  
  
The train stopped jerkily, interrupting Gilbert's thoughts. He hadn't realized that they had arrived. In a hurry he took his baggage and stepped off of the train, into the sunlight of Bright River Station.  
  
At the end of the small train station he noticed his father.  
  
"Dad!" He hugged his father laughing.  
  
"Welcome home Gil. Let's go home."  
  
On their way home Gilbert told his father about his first year as a medical student. John Blythe was very proud of his son. His mother welcomed him warmly. She couldn't stop hugging him again and again. It seemed as if he had been away ten years, instead of only one year. For all that he was happy to be back in Avonlea. He liked Kingsport but home was simply home.  
  
In the next two days his mother occupied him fully. He hadn't time for anything else. But soon as possible he wanted to go to Green Gables. Maybe, Anne would be there.   
  
Gilbert, sitting on the step to the back door and turning over the leaves in a book, when he saw Mrs. Rachel Lynde coming along the street. She carried a basket and walked directly towards the Blythe homestead. He hadn't a great mind to listen Mrs. Lynde`s gossip, therefore he stayed in his place.  
  
Mrs. Lynde walked to the front door without to noticing him. The kitchen window was open and Gilbert could hear her and his mother's voice.  
  
"Rachel, how is it?" Mary Blythe asked.  
  
"Not very well Mary. The fever is even getting higher." Mrs. Lynde`s voice stopped, ". well, Dr. Blair fears the worse."  
  
Gilbert sits up and takes notice. Who was ill? He asked himself wonderingly. Curiously he stood up and walked into the kitchen.  
  
His mother sat next to Mrs. Lynde with her hand laid comfortingly on her arm. Mrs. Lynde wiped some tears away with her handkerchief.  
  
"Marilla's almost lost her head." She said with a teary voice.  
  
The women looked up and saw Gilbert by the door.  
  
"Good day Mrs. Lynde. Who is ill, mother?" Gilbert asked.  
  
Mrs. Lynde paused in her crying and looked to Mary: "You haven't told him?" She asked with a shocked tone.  
  
"We. we wanted to wait a bit. He hasn't even been home two days." Mary stammered.  
  
"Mary, two days can decide on life and death." Mrs. Lynde answered gruffly. "I must go now. Marilla needs my help." Hastily she stood up and left the house.  
  
Confused Gilbert looked at his mother: "What did she mean mother? What haven't you told me?" His forehead creased with worry.  
  
"Please sit down, Gil." His mother said, nervously wringing her hands.  
  
After he had sat down she took his hand: "Gil, listen! Anne is very ill.." Mary felt him freeze and watched his face grow suddenly pale. "She has scarlet fever and.. Well, she isn't in good condition. Dr. Blair. Dr. Blair expects the worse." She stammered.  
  
Gilbert didn't speak; he only stared unbelieving to her. The thoughts raced through his head. Was this a nightmare? This couldn't be true.  
  
"Gil, I know it is a shock for you. That's why we didn't tell you about it at once." Mrs. Blythe tried to comfort him.  
  
Gilbert didn't answer. Suddenly he stood up and walked upstairs. Mary looked after him with a worried face, but she knew she needed to leave him alone now.  
  
Gilbert closed the door in his room and fell against it, breathing heavily. No! This couldn't be true. How could he live, if. if Anne. He shook his head; he felt an odd emptiness in his heart.  
  
Mrs. Blythe stood next to the stairs and listened intensely. But no sound came from upstairs. Sighing she went back to the kitchen. She soon heard him walking to and fro in his room.  
  
"Lord, please help us in this difficult time." She whispered.   
  
  
  
Gilbert stood next to the window, as the twilight closed in. His father was just coming home and unharnessing the brown mare. But Gilbert didn't realize this really. He thought only of Anne. Finally he decided to go to Green Gables the next day. He needed to see her.   
  
After a sleepless night, Gilbert went downstairs very early. His mother was just making breakfast. Without any word he sat down on a chair. Mrs. Blythe noticed with a worried look, how pale he was.  
  
She gave him a cup of coffee and touched gentle his shoulder: "Gilbert, we can't do anything. The ways of the Lord are sometimes odd. But we haven't the power to change it."  
  
Gilbert didn't answer and this alarmed Mary still more.  
  
Some minutes later he pushed his chair back and said: "I'm going to Green Gables!"  
  
"Don't you want to eat something?"  
  
Gilbert shook his head wordlessly and left the house. Mary looked after him: "What will happen if the worse occurs?"   
  
Over the hills the sun had risen, now. Birds twittered cheerfully and escorted Gilbert on his hard way. He hadn't even noticed the beautiful summer morning.  
  
He stopped abruptly as he left the narrow pass and saw the old farmhouse. His heart beat violently and he looked up to the small window, which belonged to Anne's room.  
  
With steps that seemed a heavy as lead, he entered the porch and beat against the door.  
  
It took some minutes, then he heard steps inside. Finally, Marilla opened the door and looked astonished at him. Dark rings circled her eyes and Gilbert wondered when she had slept last.  
  
"Gilbert, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Good morning, Miss Cuthbert. Sorry, for disturbing you so early, but.. I wanted to see Anne."  
  
Marilla stared at him silently, it seemed as she hesitated to let him see Anne.  
  
"Please, Miss Cuthbert." his brown eyes holding a despairing expression.  
  
Marilla stepped aside and let him come in.  
  
"How is she?" He asked, following Miss Cuthbert upstairs.  
  
Marilla sighed: "Unfortunately, not very well! Dr. Blair comes every day, but.." She didn't speak further, but opened the door to the small room in the east gable.  
  
"Go to her," she whispered and went again downstairs.   
  
The room was dark, because the curtains were closed. But a little beam from the sun flit in through a small gap. Gilbert went to the bed, his heart beating hard in his chest. At the moment, as he saw her he felt miserable. Palely she lay between the pillows. Her red hair framing her thin face. Her eyes were closed and she seemed as fragile as a china doll. Gilbert gulped and carefully touched her arm. She opened her eyes, which were glassy from the fever.  
  
"Hello Anne," he said in a low voice.  
  
"Gil?" her voice was only a whisper. She blinked unbelieving.  
  
"I thought I could visit you. I wanted to invite you on a stroll through the woods. But you could have just said that you wouldn't come with me." He tried to tease her, while he sat down on the chair, next to the bed.  
  
Anne smiled weakly: "What are you doing in Avonlea?"  
  
"Well, I have summer holidays! But what are you doing? You can't be ill."  
  
"I only wanted to spend some time in bed." She tried joking, too. "When is your wedding, Gil?"  
  
"There is no wedding, Anne. Christine and I have broken off our engagement. It is better this way." He said hastily, taking her hand. "I hope you are glad about my visit, Carrots."  
  
"More than all others." Her voice lowered and exhausted she fell asleep in the middle of her sentence.  
  
Gilbert watched her for a while and gently stroked her white hand. Again he noticed how delicate her fingers were. He loved her so much, she must recover.   
  
In the following days Gilbert came daily to visit. He sat at Anne's bed and spoke to her. He told her everything about his study. Sometimes he read a poem from Tennyson to her.  
  
She was never awake for long and most of the time she fell into exhausted sleep again. Nevertheless, Gilbert stayed there, holding her hand. He spent hours with her, watching over her sleep.  
  
However the fever didn't lessen. At the end of the week it was higher than before and Anne spoke often in delirium. Once she started suddenly to cry and murmured: "O Diana.., why have I done this." Restlessly she moved her head to and fro. "Why., why didn't I tell Gilbert.. That. that I love him." Then she fell again into a deep sleep.  
  
Gilbert sat as motionless on the chair. She loved him? The words hammered through his head. Or was it just the product of a feverish dream? He gently stroked the tears away from her cheeks and whispered: "I love you Anne. Please get well."   
  
It was a sunny morning when Gilbert walked to Green Gables, two days later. As he had left the old farmhouse late afternoon, yesterday, Anne's fever had finally broken, and now he felt wonderful. Hope started in all their hearts that Anne would recover from her illness. Even Dr. Blair was confident: "We have a chance, now. Even if it is little." He said to Marilla.  
  
With lightened steps Gilbert entered the house through the back door.  
  
"Hello! Is someone here?" He called as he walked along the hall. But no one answered. He went to the kitchen and looked carefully into it. Diana Wright was sitting at the table, her face buried between her hands. And her body shook with heavy sobs.  
  
Gilbert felt suddenly as if someone had pulled out his heart. Was Diana crying because..? It couldn't be true! Without looking any longer at Diana he ran upstairs, to the East Gable. The door to Anne's room had been left ajar. Gilbert didn't wait and opened the door hastily, full of fear at what he might see. He noticed Marilla was sitting next to the bed.   
  
But she wasn't sitting there bent from grief, but upright, holding a plate in her hand. His look glided to the bed and there was Anne. She sat upright in the bed, leaning on the pillows; with her red hair framing her face.  
  
Out of pure joy, Gilbert almost yelled aloud. Never before, in his life had he felt so relieved. His heart seemed suddenly to float. His beloved Anne wasn't dead. Smiling he stood at the door. Anne noticed him and smiled back.  
  
Gilbert couldn't wait longer and walked to her: "You are all right," he whispered and sat down next to her. You could hear the relief in his voice.  
  
"Of course, she is all right. She's already able to eat something." Marilla answered.  
  
"I saw Diana crying in the kitchen, I.." he stammered.  
  
At that moment Diana entered the room, still sobbing. She fell down on Anne's bed and pressed herself with a loud sob against her bosom friend.  
  
"Diana dear," Anne answered quietly, stroking her black hair. "Please stop crying."  
  
Diana sat up sniffing: "I'm only so glad that you are all right." Again a flood of tears started rolling down her cheeks.  
  
"Come on Diana." Marilla laid her arm around Diana's shoulders. "Let's go downstairs and I'll make you a strong cup of tea, all right?"  
  
Diana nodded and followed her out of the room.   
  
Anne turned her face to Gilbert again. She seemed more beautiful today, than ever before.  
  
"You can't imagine how I felt, when I thought you could be dead." He said and stroking her cheek lovingly.  
  
"Don't be worry, Gil. Everything is all right."  
  
Gilbert nodded grinning. For a while they looked into each other eyes in silence.  
  
"Anne, I. I couldn't live without you." He whispered suddenly. "I know it isn't the right moment, but I'm just so afraid of losing you that I can't wait. You needn't give me an answer at once. Think over it. You know I love you Anne. Will you marry me?" He wasn't expecting to get an answer and embarrassed he looked down. But then he felt the press of Anne's hand on his and looked up.  
  
"Yes!" Anne said clearly.  
  
"Yes?!" Gilbert stammered, confused.  
  
Anne nodded in agreement: "Yes, I will!"  
  
Gilbert grinned; before he bent down to kiss her.  
  
Happily they hugged each other.  
  
A robin sitting on a branch of the old Snow Queen started to sing a beautiful melody.   
  
Marilla on her way to fetch the plate, which she had forgotten in Anne's room, opened the door and saw the two in their tender embrace. Softly she closed the door again.  
  
"Everything will be all right, now." She murmured, as she walked, smiling, downstairs.   
  
The End 


End file.
